Yes, I a male speaking about this notion. This is an opinion article and to be honest I’m putting out there because I believe it is an unspoken idea in today’s world. I’m not trying to persuade any women to go into this career just putting a feeler out. Sharing how I feel about the issue and then hoping for some feedback.
Why women who do desire this career choice shouldn’t feel embarrassed…
I was digging through some yahoo answers questions and I came across a young lady who was 19 and studying psychology. She expressed that while she desired a professional career she has had this looming and overwhelming desire to be a stay-at-home-mom (henceforth known as SAHMs). In her description she explained that she felt it was anti-feminist to think that way, weak, selfish, or even lazy. She continued on to say that she would love to become a wife that just stays home cooks, clean, and takes care of the kids.
Now a brief pause from her story to give some opinion thus far. Off the bat you can see that somewhere in her there is a maternal instinct surfacing from within. Regardless of what is commonplace in today’s society it is important to remember that our male and female instincts have been inscribed into our brains over thousands of years. Her desire to want to be motherly is as natural as when I put myself between my lady and something I perceive as hazardous to her well-being. It’s not a thought it’s a compulsion that our bodies have learned over thousands of year of living in a manner in which men were generally protectors/providers and women were homemakers/SAHMs. Next point to say on everything so far is that she used the words selfish, lazy, and weak when describing the roll of a SAHM. My lord how far from the truth. Let’s take this one word at a time: Selfish? The sacrifice a SAHM makes when she chooses that profession is equivalent in many ways to the scenes depicted in our military war films dedicated to heroes in battle. As a SAHM, you’re taking a major role in molding that little mind. Their beliefs and view of the world will be greatly influenced by you. Second word there: Selfish? Just no. Sacrifice is the only world that comes to mind when discussing being a parent of any kind. If I need to say more this article isn’t going to be effective for you. Last word there is lazy. If your taking this job because you think it leaves room for laziness, then I highly recommend you look into another profession.
Back to her question description… she went on to say that she would feel so awkward bringing this up on date to a guy. To this I was truly stunned. If a girl told me that she wanted to be a SAHM that would be it. I’d lock her down for as long as I could and do whatever it took to keep her. There are several reasons I say this. The foremost of them all is because if a woman tells me she wants to dedicate her life to strengthening our family I know just from that alone that she has good values (not to mention it’s kind of sexy. In the same way that knowing what you want in life is. Maybe a little more so for me). Nowadays it takes a special kind of person to see the value in SAHMs but I assure you, talk to the kids who grew up in a two Parent household with a SAHM. If their words of thanks to their parents don’t convince you then their manor will. I have found that kids raised with a full time parent in the house are normally extremely well-mannered in public. I add in public because the truth is they also know how to have a fun time with mom. This of course is not the rule however, in my own experience it is rather common.
To finish off this little segment of what is more my opinion I’d just like to say t any woman who wants to go into the SAHM profession don’t think there aren’t plenty of young men like myself lining up to meet you. As I said earlier in the article were programmed with instincts and one of those instincts is choosing a mate. In the most primal sense of it all men choose a mate that they feel will provide them with strong healthy children and will nurture them properly and women go for the protector/provider type. I’m not saying that perhaps this isn’t undergoing change as we speak but I wouldn’t quite say it’s outdated just yet.
So no, young women should not be embarrassed for wanting to be SAHMs. It is one of the most courageous and in my opinion attractive things a woman can choose as a career. Not to say I don’t find other career choices nearly if not equally as attractive however, I think there is a debt of gratitude that I hold personally to the SAHM profession.
I’ll be writing a short Part II to this segment which if I can I will try to add a link to it in this article otherwise just stay tuned. I’m hoping to get more into the statistics of the SAHM benefits and I plan to take some extra time to search for a few negatives to throw into the discussion one thing I will never do is tell you to go “google it yourself”. It would be my preference to offer you as many sited facts as possible when writing something with which I hope to sway your opinion.